Let Her Be
by AussieGal20
Summary: Episode 2x10 Remember Me went a little differently. Afterwards, Jane is suffering with memories of Hoyt and Maura's there to help her through. Pre-established Rizzles. Contains a smut scene.


**Disclaimer:** Characters are not mine.

**Dedicated to the memory of Lee Thompson Young. RIP.**

* * *

**Let Her Be**

This story was inspired by _Remember Me _written by DetectiveMcGeek and _A Swirl of Circles and Stars_ written by TKegl. Even though I've based it off of a scene in 2x08: Remember Me, I have changed it a little to suit the story. The characters may seem a little OOC, but that's probably because of the AU I've put them in. I hope you all enjoy.

~oOo~

"_Get him off me!" _

_Suddenly Jane is pinned on her back; Hoyt's hand wrapped around her throat and the security guard has a taser pointed at Maura._

"_Happy Birthday Jane."  
Jane can feel Hoyts warm, putrid breath wafting across her face and before she knows it, the two women are bound in zip ties._

_Hoyt is hovering above her and Jane shakes with terror. And then he asks for the taser._

"_I can turn it on if you like."_

_Maura's cries pierce the air and Jane remembers she's not alone._

_Jane tries to turn Mason against Hoyt, anything to buy time so she can think of a way to get them out of this mess, but it doesn't work._

"_It was fun." Mason is a sadist, same as Hoyt._

_Hoyt slices Jane's throat and as he does, he leans in to whisper in her ear. The next words that come out of his mouth paralyse Jane, until he moves away and she hears Maura's whimpers._

"_NO! Hoyt don't you touch her!" _

_Jane struggles against the guard as she watches Hoyt electrocute Maura._

"_You're going to feel a little pinch doctor."_

_Jane's view of Maura is blocked by Hoyt and then all she can see is red._

_Blood. _

_Blood everywhere._

"_Maura!"_

Jane sits up; her chest heaving and beads of sweat trickling down her body. She can still feel the ache in her wrists where the zip ties had cut into her skin, the sting in her neck from the cut of the scalpel and the fire in her palms from her oldest injuries inflicted by Hoyt. As she wills her heart and breathing to slow, she feels Maura shift in the bed beside her.

"Jane?"

Jane looks over at her wife staring at her anxiously.

"Are you okay?"

Jane wants to lie, to spare Maura from the truth, but she knows it's futile. Maura can see right through her.

"No."

Maura sits up more fully and takes one of Jane's hands in her own gripping it tightly. She knows the contact helps Jane stay calm and fight the memories that threaten to take a hold of her.

"Was it a nightmare again?" She already knows the answer; it's the same thing every night.

"Yeah."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Maura asks, as she does every night and Jane responds the same way she does.

"No."

Jane doesn't want to drag Maura into her problems, doesn't want Maura to suffer with her, but deep in her heart, Jane knows she already is.

"Okay. Why don't we lie down then, that might be more comfortable," Maura suggests.

Jane pulled off her sweat soaked shirt and sweats before donning clean ones and climbing back into bed. She lay down flush against Maura, resting her head on her wife's chest focusing on the beating of her heart to calm her nerves. Maura didn't even need to talk to comfort her, all she had to do was be there, holding her and Jane though it was amazing that Maura's very presence could calm her.

Jane didn't know what soothed her more, the lull of Maura's heartbeat or the soft strokes of Maura's fingers through her hair. Either way, they did the trick and she drifted off into a dreamless sleep with one arm wrapped around Maura and the other holding Maura's free hand.

~oOo~

"Jane?"

Maura's soft voice pulls Jane from her reverie and Jane smiles down at her.

"What?" Jane's annoyance at being pulled from her thoughts is evident in her voice. For once, she was daydreaming about something good – her wedding day and how gorgeous Maura looked in her gown and the happiness that had surrounded them that day was contagious. Jane hadn't felt that happy in a long time.  
Jane's musing was cut short again as she focused on Maura's moving lips.

"What was that?"

"I said, focus Jane, your mother's trying to talk to you," Maura repeated calmly.

Jane turns her head and concentrates on her mother.

"What's up Ma?" Jane asks her mother, willing her to hurry so she can get back to the case files waiting in the study.

"Jane, sweetie, I was thinking –" Angela is cut off by the irritated look on Jane's face.

"No Ma."  
"Janie, you don't even know what I'm going to say," Angela persists.

"Yes, I do and the answer is no." Jane is defiant.

"Jane. It's been so long since you left the house. Just one short outing can't hurt. You can even take Korsak and Frost, and Frankie can go too, even Tommy would go if you wanted. You'd be perfectly safe," Angela was near begging her daughter.

"No!" Jane shouts, her temper exploding "No, Ma. It's too dangerous and I won't risk it. I won't risk Maura getting hurt, no way," Jane is defiant, her arms crossed, anger and fear battling for dominance inside her.

"Janie, he can't hurt you –" Angela began.

"That's the point though Ma. He doesn't want to hurt _me_. He wants to hurt Maura," Jane said, trying to get her mother to understand.

"Jane, he can't hurt her either."  
"Yes he can. He's out, he escaped and he's waiting for his chance,"

"But Janie –"

"Ma, give it up, it's not happening. I was there when he escaped. I was there when he held a scalpel to my throat and told me he would rape and murder my wife in front of me!" Jane shouts at her mother and suddenly she can feel the scalpel pressing against her throat, blood dribbling down from the cut as Hoyt whispers in her ear. "NO! Maura!" Jane screams for her wife, struggling against the imaginary restraints binding her wrists.

"Jane, relax, I'm here. I'm right here, you're fine. Shh, calm down sweetie I'm right here," Maura's calm voice is like a lifeline, and soon Jane's heaving breaths have slowed and the dark spots in her vision have dissipated.

"I'm sorry, Ma. I just… can't," Jane admits, hating how vulnerable she sounds and feels, but nothing could make her risk Maura's life.

"I know sweetie, and it's okay. I love you," Angela says and hugs her daughter, who squirms a little, but doesn't pull away. "I better go."  
"Be safe Ma," Jane says, wary of how dangerous it is for the people she knows to visit her. But Korsak and Frost have assured her that they have taken the appropriate precautions so that Hoyt can't follow them.

Angela leaves and its not until her car pulls away that one of them speaks.

"I don't think she likes me very much," Maura admits.

"What, don't be stupid Maura, my mother loves you," Jane says, outraged at the thought.

"Think about it Jane. I'm the reason you've put your life on hold. I'm the reason you don't go to work, or even go out of the house at all. No mother wants that for their child," Maura says.

"Maura, that's ridiculous, my mother loves you, she finally has a daughter she can pass on all her cooking and cleaning tips to," Jane says.

Maura decides to drop the issue, instead focusing on something else.

"What do you want to do today?"  
"I was thinking we could go over some of those case files Frost and Korsak dropped off," Jane said.

"That's good, do something useful," Maura agreed.

~oOo~

Jane and Maura spent most of their days working on following leads and trying to find Hoyt, working on other case files, watch TV, reading, sleeping, or Jane would watch Maura cook or garden in their extremely small backyard. After Hoyt escaped, the two women had sold their house, Jane had given up her apartment before they got married, moved into a small house, changed their cell phones and quit their jobs. Jane still consults on cases from home, and Maura was happy to stick to theoretical work, at least that's what Jane thought she was doing.

The two only had a handful of people Jane trusted to visit them; Angela visited most often, at least once a week, Korsak and Frost, who only visited once every month, and Frankie, who visited least often, every three months or so. Jane didn't blame her brother though. He had been promoted to detective in the drug unit and worked hard, rarely having enough free time to visit. Jane didn't even see Tommy anymore, not since he had a kid, TJ, who Jane had only seen pictures of from Angela.

Knocking at the door alerts both women to a possibly visitor or threat and Jane makes her way cautiously to the front door. She peers through the peephole and immediately relaxes, swinging the door open.

"Hey Korsak," Jane greets.

"Hello Jane," Korsak replies as he steps inside.

"Got a new case for us?" Jane asks as she eyes the file in his hand.

"Yep, Caught this one yesterday, got some time to spare for your old partner?" Korsak asks.

"Always do. I think I'd go crazy if you didn't bring by some work," Jane grins.

The case Frost and Korsak had caught wasn't too confusing, and after half an hour, Jane had already thought of several leads they could follow. Korsak stuck around for a coffee, but left shortly after and the house was silent again. Jane had been so busy with Korsak that she hadn't noticed Maura had disappeared.

"Maur?" Jane calls, and received no answer. Jane makes her way into their bedroom to find Maura napping on top of their bed. "Hey sleepyhead," Jane says quietly, as Maura began to stir.

"Korsak gone?" Maura asks groggily.

"Yeah, he left a few minutes ago. Why didn't you stay and help?" Jane questions.  
"I wanted you two to have some time alone, we rarely get it here," Maura replies.

Jane is touched by Maura's thoughtfulness, and knows how much Maura liked to help on the cases.

"Thanks Maura."

~oOo~

Being cooped up in a small house with limited things to do, it was only a matter of time before the two women had a fight.

Jane was sitting on a deck chair in their small backyard watching Maura tend to the flowers in the gardens around the fences that enclosed the backyard.

"Are you going to help, or are you just going to sit there staring all day?" Maura asked, with a smile on her face.

"Maura, you're the one with the green thumb, not me. I just kill them faster," Jane laughed.

"Alright suit yourself." Maura continued gardening, and Jane continued watching her, letting her mind drift.

"_Happy Birthday Jane," Hoyt's voice hovers in the air, and in the time it takes Jane to blink, she's lying on the hospital bed, Hoyt hovering over her and her wrists are bound._

"_Maura!" Jane calls eyes searching for her wife, finding her efforts impeded by her limited movement._

_Suddenly Hoyt is gone and replaced by the guard, and Jane tries to struggle as she shouts at Hoyt to leave Maura alone._

"_You're going to feel a little pinch doctor."_

"_Maura!" Jane's yelling and somewhere, far away on the edge of her consciousness she can hear a voice._

"Jane, calm down, it's me, it's Maura, I'm fine, I'm here," Maura's soothing voice helped Jane calm her breathing and return entirely to the present. "Why don't we go inside," Maura suggested and Jane followed her indoors.

Jane shakily poured herself a glass of water, offering one to Maura who shook her head. Jane sat on the couch, next to Maura, and the two enjoy a comfortable silence until Maura cleared her throat.

"Jane."  
"No, Maura. I know what you're going to say and I don't want to have this discussion. We don't need to," Jane said, her tone laced with irritation.

"Yes Jane, we do," Maura insisted. "They're getting worse Jane. Your nightmares. In the beginning they were only at night, and now they're happening during the day too. Last week, you had three on the same day, and yesterday you had four," Maura said.

"That doesn't mean anything Maura, I just keep getting tired during the day and dozing off, I could take sleeping pills at night to sleep better and it'll stop happening," Jane tried to reason.

"No, Jane it won't and we can't keep doing this. We can't hole ourselves up in this house and close ourselves off from civilisation. We don't have jobs anymore, you barely even see your family anymore Jane," Maura said.

"They visit sometimes, and we see Ma a lot," Jane pointed out.

"That's not the same thing Jane!" Maura almost yelled. "When was the last time you saw Tommy? You've never even met your nephew Jane and Frankie? The last time he visited was three months ago, this is getting ridiculous." Maura raised her hands in frustrated and began to pace across the room.

"Maura, it's not ridiculous, it's keeping you… it's keeping _us_ safe," Jane insisted.

"I don't know Jane. He said he wanted to hurt _me_, Jane. He would hurt me and make you watch. You don't have to stay here, you could go out, do your job and visit me every now and then, you can't keep putting you life on hold," Maura said, eyes filling with tears.

"No Maura. See this?" Jane pointed to her wedding ring. "This means we're in it together, I'm not leaving you. I _can't_ leave you Maura, I have to keep you safe and if that means being here with you then I'll do it. I'm _not_ leaving," Jane said determinedly, her own eyes beginning to water.

"Shh, Jane its okay, I didn't mean to make you this upset," Maura said as she rushed back to the couch to hold Jane in her arms. "I love you."

"I love you too Maura," Jane whispered as she rest her head on Maura's shoulder. Jane's ear is close to Maura's heartbeat and the soothing sound calms her down quickly. She moves up and goes to place a kiss on Maura's cheek when Maura moves her head and catches Jane's lips with her own. They kiss softly, until it grows into something more and their need and desperation for contact with the other turns into almost frenzied action. As Jane pulled Maura's shirt over her head and unclasped her bra the two women made their way towards their bedroom. When they got to the bed, Jane's fingers hook around Maura's underwear, pulling them down as Maura sucks on Jane's lip, eliciting a soft gasp. Maura moves down Jane's neck and in between kisses she states the obvious unfairness.

"Why am I naked and you're still wearing all your clothes?"

Jane helps Maura rid herself of her own clothing, pulling of her shirt while Maura went to work on her pants. As soon as Jane's was just as naked as Maura, if not more, Jane felt Maura kiss her way up Jane's legs starting at her ankles. She took her time pleasuring her wife in the way she loved to most. As she got higher and higher, Jane got louder and louder until Maura reached the spot where Jane wanted her most and the sounds suddenly lowered into soft gasps. Jane entwined her hands in Maura's hair as Maura's tongue expertly licked and flicked at Jane's clit while her fingers pumped in and out of her core. Jane felt Maura's tongue swirl around her clit sending her closer to the edge and the closer Jane got, the hard Maura's tongue worked until Jane climaxed. Jane's walls clamp down on Maura's fingers, stilling her movements as Maura continued to lick and swirl her tongue, slowly bringing Jane down, removing her fingers and halting her movements, seconds before Jane's pleas to continue would have turned into pleas to stop. Jane looked down at Maura and watched as she kissed her way gently back up to Jane's mouth and with a final kiss Maura lay beside Jane, curled into her.

"I love you." Jane heard Maura whisper, and the two women dozed off peacefully.

~oOo~

"Jane?"

Jane shook her head slightly, and forced herself to focus on Maura.

"Are you even listening?" Maura asked.

Jane grinned sheepishly, "Sorry."

"I was saying, we've been away from civilisation for so long and– " Maura cuts off at Jane's glare. "Relax, I'm not suggesting we leave the house again," Maura assured, referring to the fight they had a few weeks before. Jane visibly relaxed and Maura continued. "I was thinking, maybe we could ask Angela if she could do the Rizzoli family lunch here, and invite Korsak and Frost, it's been ages since we've seen anyone, I think it might be a good idea," Maura said.

Jane thought about Maura's proposal and agreed it was appealing to see everyone; it had been so long since she went to a Rizzoli family lunch and she missed them.

"That's a good idea, we'll talk to Ma about it and see what she says, but they'll have to take precautions," Jane added.

"That's fine Jane, it's probably a good idea they do," Maura agreed.

Two weeks later, on Maura's birthday, Rizzoli family lunch was in full swing and everyone was there; Angela, Frost Korsak, Frankie and Tommy, who had bought TJ. Frost, Frankie and Jane had a beer while Angela and Korsak stuck to wine, and Tommy and Maura opted for water. At the table, everyone was laughing, and eating Angela's lasagne and homemade garlic bread. Jane was happy to see all her family, but she was disappointed that not one of them had even said 'Happy Birthday'. Jane' glare deepened and Maura noticed this before anyone else.

"It's alright Jane," Maura said.

"No, it's not alright Maura," Jane disagreed.

"Please, Jane. I don't want any arguments, please just let it go?" Maura begged.  
"No, Maura, I won't," Jane said.

"Fine, well, just excuse me for a minute," Maura said, and left the room. Jane knew she hated conflict, and she was happy to do it on her behalf.

As soon as Maura was out of the room Jane turned her cold eyes on her family.

"Why would you do that?" Jane asked the room at large.

"Do what Jane?" Korsak asked, confused.

"Ignore Maura, it's her birthday today, and it's not like you all forgot, I've been reminding you for a week," Jane said, eyes zeroing in on Angela.

"I'm sorry Jane, it really did skip my mind, and I forgot to remind the others. But look here, I bought a card last week, here," Angela said and hurriedly pulled it out of her purse, handing it to Jane.

"You could give it to her yourself," Jane said sharply.

Frost, Korsak and Tommy watched on with wide-eyed uncertainty, while Frankie huffed in disgust and glared at his sister.

"Jane, seriously?" Frankie said frustrated.

"Frankie don't you dare, Janie's fine," Angela said in a warning tone.

"No Ma, Jane's not fine, and she's affecting the whole family!" Frankie said angrily.

"I'm sorry if trying to keep my wife safe affects your life so much Frankie," Jane spat at her brother.

"Jane, you're not keeping Maura safe, not anymore," Frankie urged.

Jane looked at him in confusion, terror building. "Why not? Did Hoyt find us?"

"No, Jane Hoyt did not find, and he won't. Think back to that day, what happened?" Frankie asked angrily.

_Jane pinned to the bed, Hoyt above her. _

"_Happy Birthday Jane."_

_Maura's pleas, Mason holding Jane down as Hoyt moved over to her._

"_You're going to feel a little pinch Doctor."_

_Jane struggling against Mason, Hoyt blocking her view of Maura._

_Jane head butts Mason and tries to make her way over to Maura._

"Hoyt got away. I got to Maura, but Hoyt got away," Jane said.

"No, Jane, that's not what happened," Frankie said angrily.

"Frankie, that's enough, leave her alone," Frost attempted to stop Frankie from forcing Jane further.

"Do you remember what happened?" Frankie continued, ignoring Frost and the pleas of his mother.

"No," Jane said.

"Yes you do, Jane."

_Jane fights off Mason, knees him in the groin, grabs the taser and hits him in the chest. _

_Jane makes her way over to Maura and almost reaches Hoyt when she hears shouting on the other side of the door._

"Korsak and Frost came," Jane mumbled, shrinking down in her seat as the memories flooded back.

"Yes," Frankie agreed. "What happened next?"

_Gunfire. _

_Hoyt turns to look at Jane as the door handle is blasted away with a bullet._

"_Say 'Goodbye' Jane."_

_Hoyt turns to Maura and all Jane can see is red._

_Blood._

_Anger._

_Fury._

_Hoyt._

_Maura._

_Maura's blood._

"Maura?" Jane yells out for her wife as she collapses her body inwards, trying to stop the pain inside her from ripping her body apart. "No, no, no, no, no."

_More gunfire and Hoyt's body falls to the ground._

_Jane pushes him aside and moves towards Maura._

_Blood. _

_Pain._

_Anger._

_Blood ran down Maura's arms and chest in rivulets and Jane clamps her hands around Maura's neck to stem the blood flow._

"_Jane, let her go, she's gone," Korsak's voice rings out from somewhere behind her, and Jane feel's hands trying to pry her hands away from Maura's neck._

"_No!" Jane screams at whoever it is, keeping one hand clamped where it is, and the other moving to her wrist for a pulse._

_Stillness._

"NO! No, no, no, no," Jane screams over and over again. "Maura!"

Angela falls to the ground next to Jane, hands hovering around her, not knowing how to ease her daughter's pain.

"Maura!" Jane screams again, her voice going coarse as she please for her wife.

Jane feels a prick in her arm, and everything goes black.

~oOo~

Jane wakes to the warm glow of morning light, blinking her eyes, to clear them of the last remnants of sleep.

"Janie?" Angela's voice calls softly and Jane turns her head.

"Hey Ma, what are you doing here?" Jane asks.

"I just wanted to check on you, you had a bad day yesterday," Angela said.

Jane noticed her body felt heavy, and her throat ached with a vengeance. "Yeah, I don't feel that great. Where's Maura? Is she okay?" Jane asks, and as her eyes scan the room for her wife, she misses the hopeful look on Angela's face disappear.

"I'm fine Jane," Maura says as she enters the room.

"I was worried for a moment, I thought you'd gone," Jane said as relief flooded her body.

"I told you Jane, I'm not leaving you, you're stuck with me forever," Maura said smiling.

"Good, I want to be. What happened yesterday? Why do I feel like crap?" Jane asked.

Jane was so wrapped up in her conversation with Maura that she completely missed her mother getting up from her chair and leaving the room.

"I don't think its anything to worry about Jane, you feel okay now don't you?" Maura asked.

"Yeah," Jane admitted.

"I think some sun will do you good, why don't we go out to the garden?" Maura suggested.

"That's a good idea Maura," Jane agreed and made her way to the closet.

~oOo~

Two days later, Angela stood by the large plexiglass windows that encircled the main living room of the extended care facility. Angela hated that she couldn't look after Jane herself, but she didn't have the time or the resources to care for her daughter and she knew Jane would not like the idea of Angela living with her, especially considering she was married. So Angela let her live in her own little world with Maura, visiting every few days.

Maura had left everything to Jane when she died, and even though it was now entrusted to Angela, she still felt guilty knowing that without Maura's money, she would never have been able to afford Jane's medical treatment. And yet she used it anyway, because she knew that it's what Maura would have wanted.

Angela stood next to a doctor, both silently observing Jane.

"It was unwise for your son to push Jane," the doctor commented.

"I know, I tried to stop him," Angela said. "I don't know what to do anymore," she admitted.

"You're doing the best you can," the doctor replied.

"It seems to be getting worse. Sometimes you can sit with her and she won't even notice you're there," Angela said.

"Jane's suffering from chronic PTSD exhibiting psychotic symptoms. She's coping with a severe trauma the only way her mind knows how to," the doctor explained.

He didn't care that he had told Angela these same things many times, it seemed to comfort the families to understand what was happening, and if it eased their pain a little, he'd repeat it a million times if he had to.

"We can continue the medications, clonidine for the flashbacks, and sertraline for the stress and depression. There is still a chance that Jane can come back from this," the Doctor added.

"It's been over three years Doctor," Angela pointed out.

"I know, the chances are very slim, but it could still happen, don't loose hope," the doctor said.

"I just want her to be comfortable. She seems a lot happier like this than she would if she knew Maura was gone. I just want her to be happy," Angela said.

The doctor nodded his understanding and left Angela alone, watching her daughter converse with a person that only she could see.

Angela made her way towards her daughter, ready to say goodbye and let Jane live in her own safe world for the day.

"Hi Janie," Angela greeted. To her surprise, Jane responded immediately to her, today was one of her better days.

"Hey Ma," she said smiling.

"I was just coming to say goodbye, I have to get to work," she said.

"All right, thanks for visiting, I've missed you, you haven't visited for a week," Jane said.

"Sure Janie, I'll come by again tomorrow," Angela said.

"No Ma, it's too dangerous, you know that. Hoyt could be monitoring your movements. Maybe you should wait a day or two?" Jane suggested.

"That's probably a good idea, I have my self-defence classes tomorrow," Angela agreed quickly as Jane's breathing began to escalate in worry.

"Good. I love you Ma," Jane smiled in relief.

"I love you too Janie," Angela replied and turned to walk away. As she reached the door to the hallway, she turned back to see Jane cupping her hand on someone's cheek. Maura's. She was so enraptured in watching her daughter that she missed someone approaching her.

"Hey Angela," Korsak said.

"Hello, Sergeant Korsak, how are you?" Angela asked.

"I'm good. I thought after the other day, Jane might like something to distract her," Korsak said as he showed Angela an old case file in his hand. He wasn't allowed to show Jane open cases now that she was decommissioned, but both he and Frost had figured that sharing old cases couldn't hurt. And what Lieutenant Cavanaugh didn't know, wouldn't hurt him.

"She'd love that," Angela said. She looked back to Jane and saw her laughing happily at something that Maura must have said.

"Wait, she's with Maura. She's always calmest when she's talking with Maura, why don't you wait to give it to her tomorrow, she's happy now, just let her be."

* * *

**Please Review.**


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